I'll Be Watching Over You Still
by HaveringFool
Summary: The night air is a little chilly.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hi there, I have an explanation for certain things but since it'll be long, I've placed it at the bottom of the page.

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><p>The night air is a little chilly.<p>

Standing at the entrance and exit of the restaurant they just had dinner in, the Rizzoli-Isles family, take in the night air. The air is fresh and crisp to them; they are warm from their laughing and the glass of wine they each had. On they go, their coats; their arms into the sleeves as the other holds up the other's coat.

Jane Rizzoli, the tallest of the pair, turns to Maura to straighten her knitted cap. Jane makes sure that each strand of that soft golden brown hair stays neat and doesn't make Maura look disarrayed. "Maura, you're beautiful. No matter the state in which you are in but," Jane says to Maura as she continues her check, "You believe in looking professional, in looking good," Jane presses her smile against Maura's knitted cap.

Jane's mother, Angela, had made a matching set for them; a couple of knitted caps for the tightly-knitted couple, those were her exact words. Angela had burst into their home one day, to present to them, in Jane's opinion, ghastly headwear. Maura though thought nothing like that of them, of the headwear, of the knitted caps.

"Didn't someone once say that I always look like I'm ready for a photo shoot? I must keep up that reputation, I suppose?" Maura teases as she sends Jane a look. Jane dutifully lowers her head.

Maura Isles, though mostly in heels, still needs Jane to lower her head to help her out sometimes, especially for tasks like this. "The hats are nice Jane, and it's cold out tonight. It's a wonderful time to put them on," Jane's relatively large mane of unruly raven coloured curls, can get challenging to tuck neatly into a cap, but Maura does her meticulous best; with a career as a medical examiner, being patient and precise, seems in her nature anyway. "There," Maura's smile meets that of Jane's, "My detective's beautiful mind is warm and safe."

"Only you Maura, can put me in a knitted cap," Jane puts on a little pout, "I won't look very badass."

"Do you need to look very badass Jane?" Maura smiles and takes Jane's hand, "I think I would use the word, callipygian, to describe you."

Jane sends a raised eyebrow to her wife.

"That means, you have well-shaped buttocks Jane."

"Maura!" Jane's normally deep voice raises an octave higher with that comment. "There are people listening," Jane smiles, despite her blushing self.

"It's highly acceptable in most cultures and in most relationship guides, to comment on one's spouse's ass."

"Alright, alright Maura, keep the butt compliments to when we're alone at home and not while we're walking on the streets…" Jane kisses Maura's hand, "You have a lovely-shaped butt too Maura," Jane's voice is soft enough for only Maura to hear.

Maura smiles smugly to herself. "A cab, and then home to bed we go?" Maura gently swings their hands.

"Cab and then home to bed," Jane checks for vehicles before they begin to cross the road, "Maybe we can even-"

Jane's words are cut off by a blaring honk.  
>Glaring headlights, out of nowhere, are all they see.<p>

The night air is a little chilly.

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><p><strong>AN:** Hi there, thank you, for the time~  
>This is a re-upload, with major edits.<br>If you've been around since its inception, I do so apologize. For its constant change in style, and restructuring. It just annoyed me to no end, how the story sounded so, I had to fix it. It probably annoys you too, to have to read it again, if you do, after each a change. Apologies. As always, no one is under any obligation to read of course, but, I thank you ever so sincerely if you still wish to continue. Thank you, for the time=)  
><strong>New an: **Prepare for change! For it has happened - "she" perspective now and, this time it will stick; it was in "you" perspective originally so, it'll stick.


	2. Chapter 2

"Doctor Isles," Maura had said as she had flashed her badge. She had offered her thanks as she had walked under the police tape.

She had smiled and followed after Maura. She had wondered for a moment then, why no one had asked her for her identification. She had figured then that they were probably too used to seeing them both together by now. She is Detective Jane Rizzoli after all. She had thought then.

She had followed after Maura, after her best friend, after her wife, smitten by her hair.

"Maura! Wait up," she had called out and jogged up to Maura; she had wanted to be closer.

"Hey Frost!" She had grinned at her partner, but had gotten no acknowledgement. She had looked at the body. It was not that grisly altogether. She had then wondered why he seemed so distracted. "Frost…girl problems?" She had teased. He had continued looking at the body, and had offered her nothing.

She had shrugged and squatted next to Maura, "So what's the cause of death Maura?" She had proceeded onto their usual banter; a shared moment of flirtation, even over corpses.

Maura had offered no reply.

"Maura?" She had turned to look at Maura.

Maura had been looking at the body. Maura had been focused, Maura had been at work. Maura had never been that focused to ignore her before though. She had thought for a moment that maybe she had angered Maura by accident; she knows better now.

"Maura?" She had waved her hand in front of Maura's face; it would have gotten to Maura, if she can indeed get to Maura.

Maura's face had offered no change in expression.

"Maura! Frost! Hello?"

No replies had been given.

This is getting too childish and far. She had thought. "Really? Maura? Frost?" She had been basically right up in their faces then and had thought that they were looking right through her; they were, they are, they do.

"Vanilla!"

Someone had called for her. Finally, she had thought.

"Rondo!" She had smiled. "Got something for me?" She had asked, and had noticed that Rondo had not looked his usual cheeky self. "Rondo?"

"Vanilla," Rondo had been looking at her.

She had felt like she was under a microscope, under scrutiny. She had crossed her arms across her chest and gave him an upturned eyebrow look of disdain. "What are you looking at Rondo?" She had almost glared.

"Of course, you still don't know."

"What do I not know here?" She had thrown her hands to the air. "Is this some prank you're all cooking up? Ignore Jane Rizzoli for the day. Childish buffoons." Her fuse had been so short that day.

"Vanilla, think. Where were you this morning?"

"Why is that any of your concern Rondo? I was with Maura if you have to know! We were-" She had stopped, she had thought.

She could not really remember waking up next to Maura.

Her head had started to hurt; she was drawing up blank images. She could not seem to think past Maura walking under the police tape.

"Is there more Vanilla?"

She had frowned and had bitten her lip, "I'm drawing up blanks. What's the dig here?"

Rondo had sighed. "Come with me, there's something I want you to see."

"Right...and I have a body to attend to." She had shaken her head, not liking games. "Besides, Maura will have to tell me about our vic eventually."

"Vanilla, this isn't some ploy and take it as, it's something that I've been entrusted to tell to, people like you."

"People like me?" She had rolled her eyes. "Rondo, if this is about that forty not being enough-"

"Vanilla. I'm not playing games here."

"Is this going to help me with the case or not?"

"There is no case until you know what you're dealing with Vanilla."

"Getting all philosophical now, are we?" She had rolled her eyes. "Fine, let me just inform Maura or Frost. Whoever would concede and respond that is," she had turned to walk away.

"Jane," Rondo had called; he had used her name and she had stopped. "Come now. This is important."

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	3. Chapter 3

She had followed that day, and now she is here almost every day.  
>Sitting in an armchair, she is adjacent to a hospital bed.<br>Sitting next to a hospital bed, on which, she is lying on the same very bed.

She looks up to see Maura walking in. She flashes Maura a smile.

Maura had gone to get a basin of water and face towels.

She watches Maura as she looks on at her, lying there, lying still.  
>She watches Maura - that is what she does now. People like her.<p>

She watches her; Jane Rizzoli watches Maura Isles.

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	4. Chapter 4

She had entered the hospital room that day, had taken one look at the body on the hospital bed and clarity had hit her. That feeling of not knowing the answer to a test, to be scratching and clawing for one as one pits oneself against the ticking clock and to only then, at the very last moment, remember and that is it - one gets a word, a physical reminder and the rest, just falls into place. She had felt as such; she had felt too, sick.

She had felt dizzy, the room had started to spin, and she had felt like well, exactly like a car had hit her.

She had sunk onto the floor. She had leaned against the wall. She had been glad for a second that she didn't phase through walls. She had felt sick but a part of her must have had known all along, because her head had cleared, the blockage had disappeared. She had tried her voice.

"That car, the one that came at Maura and I, that came at us. I pushed her away and now she's left with Jane comatose Rizzoli?"

"People like you Vanilla. Stuck between the living and the dead, are called watchers or drifters. It depends."

"Why am I stuck? Why can't I just, hop back in there and be alive again?"

"I don't know about that Vanilla. It depends on your physical body state I suppose. Maybe the car didn't hit you so bad?"

"Badly," she had corrected Rondo; her correction was immediate and her smile was grim. Maura, how she must be feeling, she had thought as her smile had remained grim.

"That's one of the reasons as well."

"Maura?"

"Yes. You're holding onto her as much as she's holding onto you."

"Of course I'll be holding onto her, I'll never leave her."

"As she would do and wouldn't do, for you."

"So, no one can see me?"

Rondo had nodded.

"Really? Why can you?"

"I'm your C.I. Vanilla."

"My confidential informant?"

Rondo had laughed. "That, and I'm also your comatose informant."

"Really? They have jobs or positions like this now?"

"I'm not getting paid. Nor am I very real. I pop up when I have to Vanilla. If you haven't exactly, noticed it."

"Right, of course, that's why."

"You'll be okay? I leave once I've done my informing."

"Do I need to pay you for your nice tip this time?"

"Nope," Rondo had offered a shoulder pat, "It's just part of the service."

"Really? Thanks!" She had sighed.

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><p>Rondo had left and she had stayed.<p>

With her body, she had stayed; with herself, she had stayed.

She had tried to of course, touch herself.

Her fingers had felt nothing.

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	5. Chapter 5

She listens and she watches. She hovers and she hangs around.

She stays by her. She watches over her. She watches over Maura.

Maura does too the same, for her.

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><p>She watches as Maura wipes a cloth across her serene face, as she smooths out the wrinkles on her clothes and she watches, as the tears fall from Maura's eyes.<p>

She reaches to wipe them away. The tears just fall anyway.

She watches and she listens. She listens as Maura tells her of her day.

She hopes that maybe tomorrow, she will be better, she will be awake, and a Clementine again. Maura's Clementine again, or her Jane; what matters is that she awakes. That's the thing with middle names, she thinks, they can sometimes change, and anything to just be with her again.

"Jane, I'll be here again tomorrow. Be better soon," Maura leans down to kiss the top of her head, "I miss you."

_I miss you too Maura. I do too._ She tells it to no one but herself.

Maura stands to go, and she follows.

_Wherever you go Maura, I'll follow you._ She tells it to no one but herself.

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><p><strong>AN:** Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	6. Chapter 6

Maura climbs into bed. It shifts beneath her.

She climbs into bed after Maura. Nothing happens. She is weightless.

Maura is leaning against the headboard, holding the framed picture she keeps by their bed. She changes them - the pictures. Tonight's the picture that they first took as a couple; they were sharing a bowl of ice cream together. The waitress had teased them and asked if they wanted the sugar-free concoction, because they would be diabetic if they had that bowl of ice cream along with the looks that they were sharing.

The waitress had offered to take a picture, they had blushed and they had nodded; they were smiling over a bowl of ice cream, their smiles matching.

"Jane?" Maura calls.

_I'm here_, she answers.

Maura doesn't look up from the framed picture.

Her words do not carry to Maura's ears. Sound does not travel in the realm of nothingness. Still, she speaks again. _Maura, I'm here_.

She watches as Maura's eyes start to water; her own tears have plopped onto the sheets before that of hers.

_I'm here Maura_. She leans closer to Maura and repeats the words, over and over.

Maura's eyes are closed, and a steady stream of tears flow. She's not being a copycat but hers are too - a river of tears.

She hates nights like this. Nights where Maura is hurting and she, can't seem to do anything.

"Jane?" Maura calls again.

She answers with tears; her vocal cords have shut down with pain.

Maura's fingers touch the side of her photographed face, "We need to go back to the ice cream place Jane."

She nods; a silent agreement, an unheard acknowledgement.

Maura places the framed picture back on the nightstand, and switches off the lights.

Darkness; apart from the moonlight, faint, hidden behind clouds, illuminates the room this night.

Maura touches the pillow on which she would be lying on, if she were awake, and next to her.

"Jane," Maura addresses the pillow, as if it's her, "Your attending doctor says that your vitals remain the same..."

Maura doesn't see it, but she's right there. She is right there, lying on the pillow, looking right at her, and listening.

Her fingers brush past Maura's. Nothing registers. _No change, that means I'm stable, that's good Maura_. She tells her. Or maybe it's bad, because I'm not waking. She thinks, but she does not say. Though neither spoken nor thought would have mattered; Maura can't hear her anyway.

"It's been two weeks Jane. Isn't it about time to wake up Jane?" Maura's voice is a broken whisper.

She watches as Maura's tears flow again.

She watches at how Maura is clutching at the comforter; at how it is soaking up her tears.

She reaches out to hold her. She wraps her phantom arms around her.

It can be done, it just cannot be felt; a summation of the situation. Maura's body is shaking in her arms with each whimper. She can see the shaking but she feels not the shaking.

She hears her pain, she feels the pain and still, it is comfort she can never offer. She has a love hate relationship with the comforter - an object taking her place. Even when she is right there, even when she is right there by Maura, she is not really there.

She tightens her embrace; she wraps her arms tightly around her.

They are touching; it looks as if they are touching, as if they are hugging, but nothing. Nothing. Maura never looks up and sees her holding her, Maura never feels her holding her.

She doesn't feel anything either.

She really hates nights like this.  
>Nights with Maura crying, nights when they both are crying; the room fills with resounding echoes of Maura's crying.<p>

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	7. Chapter 7

Three cars - ironically - three cars drive by.  
>Their headlights flashing so quickly by; offering momentary flashes of light in an otherwise dark room; hope in a moment of gloom.<p>

"We should have had tipped the waitress much, much more Jane," Maura runs her fingers along the edge of the comforter, "Thanks to her, I have one more picture of you. But I miss you. I don't just want pictures, Jane."

_I miss you too Maura, and I hate being just a picture too,_ she answers and she presses her lips to Maura's temple, again, and again, and again.  
>Maura's bound to feel it, she thinks. Maura doesn't.<p>

"You're a messy eater, you know that Jane?"

Maura always waits a little; almost like Maura's giving her time to answer.

A part of her believes that Maura can feel her presence, that Maura can feel her there. That deep down inside, against all her science and logic, Maura feels her there. Despite it not registering, Maura must feel her; Maura must feel her, she believes.

She tries so hard to reach Maura.  
>She blows at Maura's hair; not even a single strand moves, not even a little.<p>

She is thankful for the pseudo conversations she gets to have with her though.  
><em>So you've told me a couple of times Maura<em>, she answers.

"We're going to try all the flavours there Jane, all of them."

She nods against Maura. _All of them, and then we'll have another go at them again Maura_.

"Then we'll have them with waffles. Every single flavour again, with waffles."

She nods.  
>Yes, sometimes the night gets better.<p>

She feels a little guilty, that Maura is comforting her when she can't offer the same to her.

"Then we'll go for yoga and you can't complain," Maura says to the ceiling.

She laughs. _Yes Maura, yoga, anything_. She looks up too at the ceiling.

Maura had filled it with glow-in-the-dark stars.  
>We don't count sheep, we count stars. She takes comfort in the memory of how the stars came to be plastered across the ceiling - an indoor night-sky, their own night-sky.<p>

"Goodnight Jane, I love you," Maura closes her eyes.

Another pair of headlights, illuminates the room; quick but not quick enough, to not reflect the tears of which Maura had shed.

She would be cuddling Maura right this moment, if she was physically here.  
>Since the day of exchanged vows, falling asleep happens together - close, together.<p>

Maura wraps the comforter tighter around herself, Maura knows it too; she thanks the comforter.

Her arms are still around Maura, and she is envious of a comforter. She takes in deep breaths; she tries to douse the fiery pain growing in her chest.

_Goodnight Maura, I love you too, _she whispers into Maura's ear. _Tomorrow, it'll be better. Tomorrow, it'll be better,_ she repeats, for Maura, for herself.

She repeats the words, hoping that by the thousandth time, it will truly be better; each whisper is a wish upon each ceiling star.

With each whisper, she plants a kiss on the back of Maura's shoulder.

Maura is wearing her t-shirt again.

She listens to Maura's breathing, waiting for it to steady. She listens to Maura breathing.

A steady breathing will tell her that Maura has fallen asleep.  
>She listens to Maura's breathing, and she focuses on Maura's breathing. On Maura's breathing, on if Maura is asleep.<p>

She is thankful that it is her, she is thankful that it is her. That it is her that doesn't sleep, that doesn't dream. If one of them had to be this intangible watcher, she will rather it be her. She doesn't want Maura hurting alone; at least, Maura has the living to hold.

She doesn't sleep, she can't sleep. Tonight she will sing to Maura instead. 'No matter what' by Boyzone, she sings. Hoping that maybe a line or two will reach Maura; hoping that a line or two or even three will reach Maura's ears. That Maura will know that no matter what, she loves her. That even if she will have to watch Maura forever, she still will. That she is holding on, and that she will come back to Maura. That it'll be better.

For now, she will just hold Maura and sing.

Hoping that Maura doesn't stir; Maura needs the sleep.

Maura had told her before, that she finds her baritone voice soothing.

She holds onto Maura as she sings, planting shoulder kisses in between.

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	8. Chapter 8

She pictures herself twirling Maura's hair; her finger going through with the motion but her eyes are seeing that it is all just in her imagination.

She just keeps trying to twirl Maura's hair.

She tells herself that each try, each moment, something for certain will happen.

She just keeps twirling Maura's hair; feeding herself delusions. Might as well, she does not eat.

The Sun is rising.  
>She sees that the sunlight is streaming in.<br>Through the curtains, through the blinds, rays of sunlight are about to touch Maura's eyes.

Maura frowns a little; the light is upon Maura's eyes.

She tries to block it with her hand; the key word here is 'try'; she tries.

Maura's nose cringes a little. Maura bemoans a little. Maura does not like the light.

She smiles with sadness in her eyes.

She lowers her lips onto Maura's; she misses waking Maura up with kisses.

She rolls over to Maura's side.

She tries. She will use her body to shield Maura from the sunlight. She will try. She wants Maura to sleep; in sleep, there is some semblance of peace.  
>Maura's forehead doesn't crease.<p>

Maura's eyes flutter open. Lost and searching.

She is right there, looking; waiting, and hoping. Nope, Maura doesn't see.

Her throat is a little hoarse from singing, from wishing, but she still tells Maura that, _It's a lovely morning my beautiful Maura, my beautiful Dorothea. Good morning_.

Maura doesn't smile, Maura doesn't turn.  
>There's not a hint of her words reaching Maura's ears.<p>

Maura is just looking at the ceiling.

She thinks that maybe Maura is still dreaming. That maybe this too is all just a bad dream. Wake Rizzoli, wake. She tells herself because she really wants to be Maura's Clementine again; not comatose, not stuck in between.

It occurs to her then, how she had taken morning greetings for granted; so common place, so simple and yet, so wonderful.

She is not bitter that Maura does not hear her; she is hurting inside that Maura does not know that she still has her, that she is still right here. She wants to tell Maura that tomorrow is here, that the Sun is shining and maybe, to just hope with me Maura, maybe, today it'll be better.

She lies back with Maura.

The both of them lying on their backs, as they look at the ceiling covered with stars; her and Maura, together, looking at the ceiling of stars.

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><p><strong>AN:** Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	9. Chapter 9

It is the best feeling, just lying there with the one you love. She thinks. Yet she feels greedy, because she wants to add: just lying there with the one you love and being able to tell her, to hold her, to have her know that you are here. Her phantom fingers find Maura's.

She sees that they are touching. That, she thinks comfortingly, is better than nothing.

Maura is watching the stars on the ceiling, she is watching the stars on the ceiling, and the stars are just watching them both from the ceiling.

They have offered no wish come true, no chance for me to go yes Maura, I'm awake and how I've missed you. She says to herself. If I'm still lying here next to you Maura, touching but not feeling, then they have offered us nothing. She is angry for a moment. She is more sunken than pissed though by the next.

There is a lot of silence this morning. Even the birds are not chirping.

Still she will hope.

Maura had once said to her that the researchers at the University of Pittsburgh have proven that optimistic people live longer. She wants to live longer.  
>She will be hopeful, be optimistic, and she will awake to hold Maura; she will awake to hold Maura, close to her.<p>

If the birds don't start chirping, I'll just start singing. She thinks. She knows songs of love, she knows songs of hope. She will just keep singing. One day her voice will carry the notes of hope and love to Maura; hope and love will reach her, hope and love will reach Maura.

She wants soothing tunes to surround Maura, to provide Maura with the comfort that she cannot provide Maura.

The darn birds better start chirping. She angrily thinks.

She knows that Maura is not on call this morning. She knows that her mother will be coming. Bless that woman for her mothering. She reminds herself to thank her mother; another note onto the ever-growing list of typical things one forgets to be thankful for, until one has lost them or are hovering between living and death.

She reminds herself to thank her mother, for loving Maura, for taking care of Maura. She wants to thank her mother, for keeping Maura from being alone. Even though she knows how loneliness seeps in when it is moonlight streaming in.

She blinks back tears. She does not want to be blurry-eyed today.  
>She wants it all to be clear; it is a whole day with Maura, and she does not want to miss a thing.<p>

She watches Maura, looking at the ceiling. She wonders what Maura is thinking.

If she rolls back onto their allocated sides, with Maura on the left and her on the right, it will just be back to that night - with a mattress, two glasses of wine, and that moment when she had told Maura, how she is her fantasy, how she is her reality.

She wonders if Maura is thinking it too. _You're still my reality Maura_, she tells Maura in a voice, only she herself can hear. _We are going to another game at Fenway when I wake_, she tells Maura, _and we are going on many, many more dates._

She looks to Maura. Searching, waiting, for any sign of movement, of indication, of yes Jane, of course, we'll go on many more dates.  
>Apart from eye blinks, Maura offers nothing.<p>

Maura is still looking at the stars, at the ceiling. She is getting very envious of inanimate things.

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	10. Chapter 10

"I like science," Maura's voice finally breaks the silence, "I like stars, how they're held together by their own gravity. They remind me of you Jane. So independent, so bright; you're my guiding star. There are eight-hundred and twenty five of them up there on the ceiling. They glow and they are your nightlights, our nightlights; keeping you safe. I like science, but I love you Jane. I've wished on all eight-hundred and twenty-five of them, and they better come true. I don't want hypothesis, I don't want to wait for test results to come in. When I go to the hospital later Jane, you better be awake. Please be awake." Maura's voice breaks.

Maura closes her eyes and tears flow, soaking her pillow.

Her chest aches, her heart breaks. Tears well her eyes and there goes her goal of not being blurry-eyed.

Most mornings after a night like last, Maura hardens and Maura demands. Maura demands that she fulfils what she cannot fulfil.  
>She tries though; she tries harder and harder each day; she tries.<p>

She prays for her mother to hurry on her way. To take Maura away from this loneliness, this lonely place; to mother away the heartache, to make her bunny pancakes. She tries, she tries, and she is starting to hate the word try.

She traces the words 'Maura I'm right here' along Maura's arm. In cursive, in block writings; she traces the words along Maura's arm.

She wonders if Maura feels the slight tickle, the slight tingle that she remembers to come along with tracing her arm.  
>It seems so long ago, the last word spelling on the canvas that is their skin that had her and Maura reduced to giggles and happy tears.<p>

She traces the words 'I love you', over, and over. Each letter a hopeful figurative cloak of comfort, as her aching heart listens to Maura's tearful sobs growing louder and louder. She traces 'I love you Maura, I'm here', over and over.

She does not know what is more painful - watching tear drops of Maura's disappear into the pillow or that the salty drops of her own do not make connection with the real world. Is it more painful to watch Maura cry, or to know that Maura's tears will not stop until her own can be absorbed.

She doesn't know the answer, and there is still no chirping; her hopes of it'll be better, shrinking and shrinking.

It doesn't disappear though, it won't disappear. She will stay hopeful, she will stay optimistic, and she will awake, for Maura.

She will awake for Maura. She will always awake for Maura.

_I'll never leave you Maura, I'm right here_. A pained whisper of hers against Maura's arm.

She closes her eyes and imagines, her own hand running through Maura's hair, and her own thumb, brushing away Maura's tears.

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><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	11. Chapter 11

She listens.

She listens as Maura's sobs grow softer, with deeper breaths in between.

She will forgo the sense of sight just for a moment, to listen.

She listens.

She listens as each inhale sounds less like a sniffle.  
>She listens as each exhale becomes less of a puff.<br>She listens as each inhale becomes less ragged, slower.  
>She listens as each exhale sounds less like a huff.<p>

She listens as Maura's breathing goes steady.

In, out, in, out; she listens as Maura breathes.

She listens to Maura falling steadily asleep.

She hates that Maura has cried herself to sleep.  
>That Maura is hurting, that Maura had hurt so much to have worn herself out, from crying.<br>She hates that Maura has cried herself to sleep.

Yet, she loves that Maura is asleep.

Maura has nightmares, Maura has dreams.  
>But asleep, Maura stops crying for a little bit.<p>

She has such numerous mixed thoughts and feelings.

She is envious, she is jealous.  
>She is envious of the comforter, of the duvet.<br>She is jealous too, because they are taking her place.

She is concerned, as she is worried.  
>She worries, she is afraid.<p>

She fears that she will not wake.

She is delusional; she is hopeful; she believes that she will wake.

She will, because she has to.

Maura is waiting for her to too.

She has such numerous mixed thoughts and feelings.  
>Though there is a constant, there is an absolute.<br>There is one thing she will hold true, in which she will believe with all that she is.

That she will hold on, that she will go where Maura goes, that she will watch over Maura.  
>This is the absolute.<p>

She hears the rustling of sheets.

She opens her eyes to catch Maura turning on her side; Maura is now facing her pillow.  
>She climbs back over to return to her side, to lie back on her own pillow.<p>

She wants to face Maura.  
>She wants to believe that when Maura opens her eyes, the first person she will see, is her - is Jane Rizzoli.<p>

She lies on her side and she watches Maura.

She watches and she listens, as Maura sleeps.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~


	12. Chapter 12

The morning light does wonders; she gets to watch a wonder.

Maura's brows are relaxed and unfurrowed; Maura's face, adorned with a mask of serenity, of sleep.

Maura's cheeks though, her rosy cheeks are blemished with tracts of tears.  
>She brushes her thumb across the surface of Maura's skin, wiping away the stain of pain. Almost, she thinks.<p>

Maura turns deeper into the pillow and her glistening hair tousles a little, a lock of it falls across her face. Her fingers reach out to tuck the lock behind Maura's ears.

She tells herself that maybe that lock is meant to be left tickling Maura's face; she looks away.  
>She sees then Maura's upturned palm - Maura's fingers, touching the edge of the cover of her pillow case.<p>

She offers nothing but the truth - that it looks so empty, it looks as if it's waiting to be held. Waiting to be held by me, she whispers it to herself.

_Maura, you make my mornings beautiful and my days purposeful, I'll come back to you. Please don't shed your precious tears. I can't bear it when you do. I'm right here_, she whispers into Maura's palm.

Maura stirs a little.

She feels hopeful; maybe her breath had tickled her.  
>She traces five letters onto Maura's palm, and she asks, if Maura remembers.<p>

* * *

><p>She had her head on Maura's abdomen, listening to the quiet of digestion. Maura was reading an article and she had been tracing words on Maura's skin, completing words with Maura's navel - that shaped like a letter 'o' belly button.<p>

"Jane, that's distracting," Maura had laugh and swatted at her pointer, "What are you even accomplishing?"

"I'm taking down notes, writing."

"Wouldn't jotting them down on paper be more productive?"

"Paper's not as…" She had slid her finger up Maura's side and whispered, "Nice to touch."

Maura had shivered, a little.

"Besides, I'm saving paper and sending a message, all at the same time. It's very eco-friendly and efficient Maura."

Maura had placed aside her journal, had stopped reading her article and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "What's the message Jane?"

"Lie back and stay still," she had winked - so full of herself and so full of cheeky wit, "It's just three words."

Maura had smiled and had lain back down. She had written a letter.

"I."

She had nodded. Next, she had traced a word.

"You."

She had smiled and carried on - 'L', 'V', 'E'; each letter, a slow deliberate tickle.

Maura had laughed and asked, "Is there a letter missing Jane?"

"Not exactly," she had shaken her head and crawled up to meet Maura's lips, "All I need is right there, right here," she had traced her finger around Maura's navel, "I can't spell love without you Maura."

Maura had looked at her, for a moment, offering nothing but a smile.

"I love you too," Maura had traced her eyes and pressed her lips against her lids, "I love you, Jane."

She had smiled and snuggled into Maura's embrace; with Maura's arm snaked across her waist, she had said, "I heard a song today."

"We ride to work with the radio on everyday Jane," Maura had said as a matter of fact, as Maura's fingers combed through her hair.

"That's different Maura. Anyway, I had the radio on, blasting it almost in the bullpen today, to cover up the drone of winnie-you-know-who-pooh-"

"Sister Winifred?"

"Yes Maura, and this song came on. It reminded me of you."

"What's it called?"

She had taken Maura's palm and held it in her hands. She had traced five letters and asked for Maura to guess.

"W, I, S, Y, S? That's not a lot to go on even if I do guess Jane."

"When I see you smile, Maura," she had kissed Maura's palm, "That song just represents how much your smile means to me. It's by Bad English, we should listen to it."

"So now you're Bad English?" Maura had quipped.

"Well, I am Italian Maura, that makes me a bad English, doesn't it?"

Maura had laughed, "You make me smile Jane, and I know some things that you're not bad at…" Maura had whispered into her ear, sending tingling sensations, frazzling all of her nerves.

"When you smile Maura, I can do anything," she had kissed each word along Maura's neck.

* * *

><p>She watches as Maura's smile - dreamy and slow - come to life.<p>

"When you see me smile," Maura mumbles against the pillow; Maura answers. Her heart palpitates against her chest. Maura must have heard her.

_Tomorrow is here Maura, it is better. I know it is_. She tells Maura as she watches how Maura's smile mirrors hers - small but hopeful. _It is better Maura, soon_. She assures Maura with a kiss to her palm.

Maura's eyelids flutter back; her eyes are wide, and seeing. She holds her breath.

Maura does not see her but she sees the return of Maura's dimples.

"I'll smile for you Jane, and you can do anything," Maura reaches for the framed picture and she kisses her photographed face, "You'll awake soon. I know it to be true. I'll smile for you, for us, till you do, and you're right here," Maura presses her hand against her chest, against her heart, and she thinks that maybe, Maura can feel her hand against hers too.

She tightens her hold. Maura's eyes are closed. She is wishful.

Tomorrow is here. Today is better. She tells herself, she has made progress - she has gotten through to Maura.

She kisses Maura's temple and a chirp, a tweet, reaches Maura and her. The morning isn't so quiet, so full of pain any more. She smiles.

It is morning, the Sun is shining, and hope is streaming in. Radiant and full of warmth; even the sunlight's keeping Maura comforted, keeping her warm. It is better, she nods.

She smiles, full of hope. Maura does too.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~  
>Hmm. I'm still on hiatus of sorts so, this story pauses here. Apologies.<br>Thank you, for the time=)  
><strong>New AN: **Yes, I should stop editing and update. Yikes. Apologies.


	13. Chapter 13

She has made progress, she has gotten through to Maura. She repeats her prized thought to herself.

Maura had been the one struggling for progress, not too many months ago. She thinks as she wraps her phantom fingers tighter around Maura's hand.

* * *

><p>"We have to try Jane, we have to try," Maura had whispered soothingly as her hand had run through the curls in her hair.<p>

"We have to try Jane," Maura had held her closer to her, "We have to try."

"Tell me what's on your beautiful mind?" Maura had asked, as her lips had kissed her palms - her scars.

She had stayed silent and unresponsive.  
>She had awoken from a bad dream with Maura in her arms.<p>

She had cried with Maura in her arms.

She had thought then that: this wasn't a dream.

She had stayed silent and unresponsive.  
>She had held Maura in her arms as her own tears had laced Maura's hair.<p>

"I'm here Jane, I'm here," Maura had promised as she kissed her chest.

"I'm here," Maura had her head on her shoulder now, but her hand had remained firm and steady on her chest, "Tell me Jane. You can tell me anything Jane."

She had cried.

She hadn't cried since that day, that night, that time.

She had cried with Maura in her arms.

Like that day, that night, that time.

"I'll never leave you Maura," she had spoken - the first sentence in a long time since, that day, that night, that time.

"I'll never leave you Maura," she had whimpered in Maura's arms.

"I'm sorry about that day, that night, that time," she had broken down and cried, "I'm sorry Maura."

* * *

><p><em>You had the ceiling filled with stars after that.<em> She traces her thumb across the back of Maura's hand. Nothing.

_You told me that I never have to wake up alone, in the dark, ever again. That the stars, will be my nightlights, our nightlights. Keeping me safe, giving me hope, keeping me safe. _She kisses Maura's smile. _Because when I am, you are too. And I'll wake up for you Maura. I'll never leave you. _

She watches as Maura leaves the bed.

"I'll smile for you, for us, till you do Jane. I will," Maura kisses the framed picture of them before she places it back on the nightstand.

_I will too_. She lies back and watches the ceiling. _When you smile Maura, I can do anything. _

The ceiling with the glow-in-the-dark stars. An imitation of the night sky. A replica of her view that day, that night, that time.  
>When the ground beneath them had soaked up Maura's blood, when the trees had stood idly by, offering needless shade as Maura had bled closer to death.<p>

Maura had been bleeding in her arms, with a cut open leg, due to her doing. Maura could have died in her arms that day, that night, that time; and she had only cried with Maura in her arms.

_It's progress Jane, it's progress - them as your nightlights._ She repeated the words Maura had told her the day the glow-in-the-dark stars became ceiling fixtures.

It's progress, and tomorrow is better. Maura had assured as she held her tight. You're here. Jane, you're here. Maura had kissed her temple. You don't have to be sorry Jane. Maura had kissed her temple. You're here.

The researchers at the University of Pittsburgh have proven that optimistic people live longer. Maura had said. I have your back Jane. Maura had held her hand. I have your back, and we're here. Maura had held her as sleep had ceased to evade her.

She lies and watches the ceiling, as she listens to the flow of water coming from the shower.  
>Maura's preparing to go to her.<br>When she's right there, right here, on the bed waiting for her. When she's right there too - on a hospital bed, waiting for her. She tries to keep the prized thought in her mind; there will be no blurry eyes today.

_I'll wake Maura, I will. I'll never leave you. _She promises.

_It's progress. Tomorrow is here Maura. _She smiles at the ceiling stars_. Thank you._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~  
>An update!~ Hope it's alright.<br>**Personal note:** Might you...also maybe, consider the message I had left on my profile? It touches on future fanfics - which might be of interest to you if you follow the other fanfics I have written.  
>Thank you, for the time=)<p> 


	14. That chapter

Like an answer, Maura heads back into the room.

As if by magic, the stars on the ceiling begin to move.

Jane sits upright as Maura enters back into the room - two beings in a room, with celestial bodies up above.

On the ceiling they await, and look down upon them two.

Slowly but surely, the stars begin to move.

And the words they formed are simply: Happy April Fools!

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I had to. Happy April Fools from HaveringFool!=)  
>Do disregard this chapter in terms of the story progression.<p> 


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: **It's a legitimate update - three chapters - but, you should probably not read them till there's a next round of update. Thank you, for the time.

* * *

><p>The phone on the dresser vibrates - it's Maura's.<p>

Hers had long been crushed to bits, how surprising, she comments to herself as she hops out of bed to look at the caller ID. It better not be a case, she thinks.

It's the hospital.

The almost grin she has on falls away. She looks at Maura's phone, vibrating on the dresser.

She listens to the sound of running water; Maura's still in the shower.

She stares at Maura's phone - a call from the hospital, most probably something about her.

She stares at the phone and wills for the caller to hang up - Maura's smiling again.

She sighs.

The room is now silent, except for the sound of a vibrating mobile on a dresser.

She wills for the caller to hang up; Maura's smiling again.

The phone stops.

The shower starts.

The phone starts.

The shower stops.

Maura is wrapped up in a towel and standing next to the dresser.

Maybe I'm awake, she decides.

But then why am I here. She wonders to herself.

Maybe I'm awake and the hospital's calling to inform my wife. She concludes.

She sends an encouraging smile as Maura places the phone to her ear.

Those droplets are from the shower, she tells herself.

"Thank you for keeping me informed, I'll be coming in before noon," Maura hangs up.

The sound of running water is all she wishes to hear, but it isn't.

There is sniffling too, and an anguished cry in between the sound of jet sprays. Maura's crying in the shower, and she is pressed up against the bathroom door, listening.

_Maura?_

_I'm here._


	16. Chapter 15

"Tell me Rondo. Tell me," she had threatened.

Maura has been crying every night since she had known, since she had started to follow. Maura has been crying every night since, she had begun watching.

"Tell me Rondo, tell me. Tell me how to wake. Tell me how to be with her again," she had Rondo slammed against a wall.

Maura would visit in the day, during lunch breaks, and head back to work, as if nothing mattered or bothered.

Maura has been crying, every night since, and she had only followed wherever Maura had gone, wherever Maura could possibly go - work, hospital, and home.

"Tell me Rondo, please," she had fistfuls of Rondo's shirt, and him against a wall. He always had answers, he's her C.I. He has answers, and she needed them. She needed the how to awake, the how to make Maura stop crying.

She needed to be able to tell Maura that she's never leaving, that she's here, that she loves her, and that she's sorry.

She needs to tell Maura that she loves her, and that she's sorry.

"Tell me Rondo, please," she had let him go and had fallen to her knees.

They were at dinner, a celebratory dinner - the night the car came.

She had finally done it – told Maura about things, about her feelings, and her fears.

She had finally managed it - to speak the words she feared more than anything.

She had progressed, and Maura said dinner - anything she wanted - as a celebration.

She had finally gotten back to the stage where holding Maura close to her every night in their bed, stopped being just a way to make sure that Maura's breathing and safe, that Maura's alive and that she hasn't lost her yet.

She had finally made Maura happy again, with her progress, with her own smile.

She had finally made Maura smile again, and now there Maura is, burying herself in work - reports, research papers - and pretending as if she's going to be okay, that she isn't lying on a hospital bed comatose.

* * *

><p>"Doctor Isles? The results are in," Susie had said.<p>

"Is Detective Rizzoli going to be okay?" Susie had added, had asked.

"Definitely." Maura had answered.

"Jane's fine. Her vitals are great." Maura had lied - the doctors had said she was still critical that day.

* * *

><p>Maura would rather hives, would rather lie, than to have to accept that she wasn't okay.<p>

Maura had concealed it, all too deftly - evidence of her nights' tearful moments.

With make-up, with a professional smile; Maura had concealed it all.

She had watched as her own wife carried on to work, seemingly unbothered. She had watched as her own mother struggled and even chided her wife for being able to go back to work, as if nothing happened.

She had wanted to wrangle and strangle, all the idiots who had dared, to hiss 'Queen of the dead's here' at her wife's way whenever she passed anyone at work.

She had watched as her own partners, shunned the medical examiner's office and would only liaise with Susie who stood firm by her hero, by Maura.

She had watched as Maura smiled when she has to, say her thanks when she needs to, and she had watched, as Maura drove home from work with tears clouding her eyes.

She had watched it all.

"There must be something I can do Rondo. Tell me. Tell me what I can do."

Her mother hadn't understood then, her mother hadn't known what she had known.

She knew, of course she knows. Of course she knows different, of course she knows that Maura would go back to work.

Maura hid in her work.

Maura hid in her work. Maura found peace, security, and stability in her work. Maura had always hid in her work, something she herself used to always do.

Maura spoke for the dead. Maura stood for the dead, and Maura said for the dead what they could no longer say.

Maura would rather dissect a dozen cadavers than to have to get used to being alone again, to face the living again.

Maura would hide in her work, and she would hide in hers.

Until her, until Maura, until and since, they had each other.

Maura would have had her, and she would have had Maura.

Until that day, that night, that time, and she had hid in herself, had given Maura the silent treatment; because work mattered less than Maura, and work she could lose, but not ever Maura.

And if she hadn't hid in herself, Maura wouldn't have had to hide in her work.

"Tell me Rondo, tell me what I can do."

She needs to tell Maura that she's sorry, and that she loves her still.

"Vanilla," Rondo had whispered.

"This fell out of your pocket," Rondo had showed her the token she had always kept by her side, and she had looked at it, not feeling inclined to even touch what she cannot keep, "I'll show it to her when the time is right vanilla. That's all you can do." Rondo had started to go.

She had sat down on the sidewalk, overlooking where the accident had occurred.

"Maura has a similar token," she had looked up and away from her scarred palms, and straight ahead, at the road that was no longer covered with her blood, "My mother found it once in the dryer." She had smiled. Their only secret kept from each other – a reminder of the other.

"I know vanilla, I know," Rondo had turned around, "As she would do, and wouldn't do for you."

Rondo had sighed.

"I sang to her, I watched over her, and that's all I knew that I could do," Rondo had answered.

Rondo had left, and she had sat a little while longer, before following behind Maura, before watching over Maura, like what people like her can only do.


	17. Chapter 16

The door won't give, and she had tried everything - ramming herself against it, kicking it, turning, pulling, and yelling at the door, at the door knob. She doesn't hurt, she doesn't feel anything; the door stays in between.

She can't get in, and Maura's crying.

She can't get in, and Maura's crying.

She shuts her eyes, and pounds so adamantly against the bathroom door.

_Let me in._

_Maura, let me in._

She pounds and she pleads.

_Maura, let me in._

_I'm here, Maura, I'm here._

She pleads and she pounds, to Maura's crying.

_I'm here. I'm here. I'm here_. She spits each word out.

_I'm here. I'm here. I'm here!_ She stands right up.

_I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. Here!_ She challenges the ceiling stars.

_I'm here._

She weeps against the bathroom door.

_I'm here._

She repeats and hopes for her to actually be here, and not at the hospital.

_I'm here._

She says again.

_Maura?_

_I'm sorry that I'm here._

She listens to the sound of running water, the shower washing away Maura's tears - because she's here.


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: **So...I wanted to complete the story before updating again and...it's complete!~ Hmm. Thank you, for the time; and feel free really, to ditch and scamper off if you wish - I went too far, and too long I think. Hmm. Oh well. *shrugs*

* * *

><p>She sits by the bed and waits.<p>

Maura has left the shower, and Maura's getting dressed and ready, to go to the hospital, to go to her.

She sits by the bed and she waits.

She listens to the birds chirping by the window, she plays with the sunlight streaming in - light on her skin, and yet no warmth - she passes time like a child grounded in her room on a weekend morning.

Maura's phone doesn't ring again, and she doesn't know what the conversation actually was, except that it made Maura cry - she's a detective, making up tells can only work for so long.

She runs her hand along the mattress cover, and notes that she still can't feel the texture of soft satin sheets - Maura had taken all afternoon to select suitable linen, and she had made Maura buy enough to last them through two winters; she hated shopping on principle, but she was with Maura, so they had gotten a new duvet that day, along with new pillows, new plates and bowls, plenty of dresses - two of which were forced on her - and Maura had modelled shoes all the way till dinner time; that was them then, married and happy, before that day, that night, that time.

She sits by the bed and waits; and she watches as Maura zips up her dress - Maura doesn't need her, Maura just lets her unzip her.

_You look beautiful Maura, always like you're ready for a photo shoot._

Maura sets her selected coat for the day down on the bed - barely an inch away from her; she smiles up at Maura, and Maura's lips do not answer.

She stays by the bed and waits.

Maura's putting on make-up - powder, blusher, eye-liner, and all the tools Maura's using to cover up her puffy eyes, her red nose, and leaving only markers of professionalism.

She sighs. She's not making an honest woman of her wife.

_You look beautiful Maura, but you believe in looking professional and looking good._

She almost remembers how she sounded like that night.

_You look beautiful Maura_, she tries to send as she stands by Maura.

_You are beautiful_, she presses her phantom lips onto the side of Maura's head.

"I'll smile for you Jane," Maura packs and tidies up the make-up arena, "I'll smile for us, till you can too," Maura checks her smile and takes her coat.

_And I can do anything_. She responds as she follows.


	19. Chapter 18

She watches as Maura starts on their morning routine.

Maura would be making coffee while she was in the shower. Sometimes they would go for a jog before breakfast, or she would catch up on some game reviews whilst Maura read her papers over the breakfast selection of the day.

She stands by the kitchen counter as Maura reads the note her mother had left Maura on a plate of bunny pancakes - 'Took Jo out for you Maura honey, and I won't be coming in with you to the hospital. They called me too.'

She looks at Maura's reaction, and tries to understand the situation - is she, in trouble? Dire trouble? - she looks at Bass, she has no answer; and Maura has already torn the note up by then.

She watches as Maura starts on their morning routine.

Maura sits down at the breakfast table with a side of fruit and bunny pancakes. Maura has too, a cup of coffee made from a pack of instant.

She tries not to trifle with the thin layer of dirt on Maura's coffee machine.

Maura switches between sports channels until Maura finds what Maura's been looking for - the red sox re-run - and Maura focuses on the breakfast before her, whilst Bass deals with his beside her; she sits next to the tortoise that's not a turtle and watches as Maura and Bass have breakfast - the sport commentators are nothing but loud and annoying.

She watches as Maura places the dishes in the sink; and she waits by the door - she used to do the dishes.

She watches as Maura puts on her coat, and she watches as Maura reaches for the keys.

She watches as Maura says goodbye to Bass.

She watches as Maura fluffs the cushions on the sofa, as Maura aligns the paintings that line the walls, as Maura wipes the kitchen counter once more for good measure, as Maura heads back into their room for her coat, to only go back and come back into the living room with only Maura's own coat.

Maura's never late when she wasn't hindering her, and Maura had said before noon - she doesn't want to go to the hospital either.

She watches as Maura's hand hovers on the front door's knob, and she watches as Maura heads back into their room.

She follows behind Maura as Maura leaves their house - Maura in her coat, and Maura holding onto a coat for her.

She climbs onto Maura's car, and she hopes to the hidden stars, that it's not a day closer to her funeral.

She rides through the streets of Boston atop Maura's car; she has run out of her own tears, she does not need to watch as Maura runs out on hers too.


	20. Chapter 19

"Vanilla!" Rondo calls out as they pull into the parking lot.

"Turning on your invisibility powers?" She knows that when she can converse with Rondo, it means that Rondo's in her world.

"Vanilla's riding on cars now I see," Rondo's smiling.

She settles on the gravel road, Maura's still in the car - everyone needs a moment.

"Is today the day Rondo?"

"Today's always the day."

"I sang to her, I stayed by her, I watched over her, and today she heard me," she clenches her fists, "She felt me and I got her smiling, and now we're at the hospital and afraid to enter. Is today the day Rondo?"

"You're here vanilla," Rondo's still smiling, "It means you're still here."

She fights the urge to sock Rondo's grin.

"I'm here Rondo," she tries to not sound angry, "Talking to you."

Rondo simply grins.

"Is that why you stopped singing?"

Rondo stops smiling.

"Is that why you stopping singing Rondo?"

She watches as Rondo clenches his fists.

"Is that-"

"Don't ask again vanilla," Rondo's voice has never been threatening, "Don't."

"Then why am I here Rondo? Why are you here? Why can no one else see me but you?" She is yelling and gripping onto Rondo's jacket. "Is that why you stopped singing Rondo? You died didn't you!" She welcomes the shove Rondo deals her.

"I'm your C.I. vanilla," Rondo stands a feet away, "I inform, I don't get to decide." Rondo walks away.

She leans back against the car and waits for Maura - Maura's touching herself up.

She hates make-up.


	21. Chapter 20

Doctor Slucky meets them before they meet her body.

She stands by Maura and her phantom hand instinctively finds hers; she settles for her hands resting on Maura's shoulders.

"Thank you for taking time out to come down today Doctor Isles."

"I was planning to anyway Doctor, tell me about Jane."

"She showed some signs of changes, over the night," Doctor Slucky looks up from the clipboard, "Detective Rizzoli's brain activity took a sharp dive this morning and," Doctor Slucky looks back to his clipboard, "She has stabilized since but Doctor Isles," Doctor Slucky looks back up, "Maybe it's time to consider…" Doctor Slucky looks at Maura, she looks at Maura; Maura's really good at keeping a straight face, but Maura has her hand in her pocket, and she knows what that means.

_I'm here Maura._

She offers and she knows that her offer's the problem.

"It's good that Jane has stabilized," Maura responds, "What is it that has to be considered?"

Doctor Slucky looks uncomfortable, and a nurse appears beside him - with papers. She knows they aren't discharge papers - different colours, but yet familiar colours.

"If her brain activity falls any lower Doctor Isles," Doctor Slucky starts, "We have to-" Doctor Slucky stops, and the nurse starts to look uncomfortable too.

Maura offers silence.

"We care for Detective Rizzoli Doctor Isles," Doctor Slucky smiles, "She's...unfortunately, a regular here."

Maura says nothing; she manages an uncomfortable laugh.

"We saw her through her various work incidents and mishaps, and we believe that she's a tough cookie but, she's a cookie nonetheless and," Doctor Slucky starts fiddling with his pen, "Doctor Isles," Doctor Slucky and the nurse both stand straighter up, "You might have to consider the possibility that Detective Rizzoli will end up like your mother," Doctor Slucky's shoulders fall, and the nurse has crinkled the once crisp papers.

Maura says nothing still; she says nothing either - none of her words matter.

* * *

><p>Take care of my daughter, words Maura's biological father and Maura's adoptive mother - Paddy and Constance - had graced her.<p>

Take care of my daughter, words Paddy had spoken before he got carted away into prison.

Take care of my daughter, I'm protective too Jane, Constance's last words to her - she had died from saving Maura from a car; and that's why Paddy decided to give himself up.

She had used it once, distastefully, Maura and her lack of affinity with cars as a reason to get Maura to let her drive as they were bickering. It didn't go well, the car ride nor the her actually getting to drive the car happening. Maura had since brought it up herself, and they've been careful since - yet not careful enough as it would seem.

"You would never have to get used to being alone again Maura," a line in her vow she had made to Maura before witnesses, "I'm never leaving you."

* * *

><p>None of her words matter, so she doesn't try to diffuse the silence.<p>

Maura still hasn't said anything.

"She's alright now, Detective Rizzoli is alright Doctor Isles, we're just, saying it's a possibility," the nurse sends a smile.

Maura takes her hands out of her pockets, and asks for the clipboard Doctor Slucky obligingly gives. Maura takes too the papers the nurse hands over - she remembers them now, the papers; today's not the day, but she's not any further from it either.

"I'll look these over and," Maura smiles, "You can call me Mrs Rizzoli-Isles too," Maura turns and steps into her hospital room.

She follows behind, saying nothing, offering nothing.

Doctor Slucky and the nurse walk away with a heavy sigh.


	22. Chapter 21

Take care of my daughter, take care of Maura; and her body's here, so is she; I guess Maura's taking care of me. She looks down at her feet as she heads to the corner of the hospital room.

Maura's heading towards the hospital bed.

Guess who's there? She amuses sarcastically to herself.

There's nothing more that she can do - the hospital served her papers, the doctors and nurses have given Maura options and possibilities - she can be here, and here still sleeping, not awaking.

She sinks onto the floor and leans against the wall, while Maura sets the documents down on the table.

She watches and says nothing.

Maura would never have to get used to being alone again. Well, she's here, isn't she.

'"Jane?" She watches as Maura leans down to kiss her cheek.

Her lips part to reply, but they purse together just as quick.

She watches as Maura sits by her body on the hospital bed.

"Jane?" Maura takes her hand in hers.

She makes herself stand.

"Medically...Jane," Maura says as Maura looks at her hand in hers; she stands close to her, "Medically -" Maura looks at her body.

Maura traces her jawline with her fingertips; she watches the motion.

"Medically Jane, your brain activity has started to decrease, and should your brain die, it means that you are medically pronounced as deceased," Maura has her hand in both of hers, "But medically," Maura smiles, "You would have had lost function of both your hands, but look at you-"

Maura closes her eyes and takes in a breath, "Look at your hands Jane," Maura presses her lips to both of them; her hands are lifeless and scarred, and being adored by Maura's soft gentle lips - she watches and makes herself say nothing.

"Your hands are a medical miracle, and as long as your brain has activity, as long as your heart is beating, I believe you'll be better Jane," Maura kisses her temple.

"You'll wake up Jane," Maura holds onto her hands, "You'll wake up."

She looks at Maura looking at her body - Maura's eyes are watery, and Maura has on a smile.

Her hands are on Maura's, and she's kneeling before Maura, but her hands aren't real; Maura's eyes water.

_Maura, I'm here._

_I'm here._

"I'll smile for us till you do Jane," Maura smiles and lets go of her hands, "I'll be back real quick Jane. Three minutes," Maura smiles and kisses again her temple before getting ready the basin and face towels.

Her phantom hands fall to her knees.

"I might actually take a little while longer Jane," Maura laughs; she had always been the one rushing Maura about and giving Maura only three minutes when Maura was the one keeping them actually on time, "I have to call your mother and tell her about her brilliant detective," Maura rests her hand on her hair, "I have to trouble Susie to have Korsak alert Cavanaugh of your extended medical leave too," Maura kisses her forehead.

"You will wake." Maura says as she picks up the face towel filled basin.

She watches as Maura stands at the door of the hospital room, shoulders squared, and adjusting her dress.

She sighs and looks away - Maura's left the hospital room all smiles, carrying a basin to fill with water and face towels to clean her with; there's an adjourning toilet in the hospital room.

She stays with her body and she doesn't follow - Maura does the watching over when they're at the hospital; Maura needs the time away from comatose her too.

She looks to her own body, and her fingers touch her hand - nothing.

_Isn't it about time to wake up?_

She asks her own unmoving body out loud, and only the sound of monitors attached to her are heard.

_You're a liar who makes hospitals your home._

She goes back to her corner and cowers there.


	23. Chapter 22

There's nothing she hasn't tried.

She had hit at herself, she had yelled at herself, she had threatened Rondo, she had jumped on herself even - and she's still here.

She doesn't cry; but she knows that the flowing tears are hers.

Maura doesn't lie, and yet Maura's out there parading her smiles with matching hives.

Her mother had left it up to Maura - decisions about her.

Her work partners are still ignoring Maura, and so is the rest of her family.

There's only Susie now, for Maura; and her mother, on occasions.

* * *

><p>"Doctor Isles?" Frost had knocked on Maura's office door.<p>

"Detective Frost?" Maura had looked up from her laptop.

"Korsak and I were wondering if, you'll like to come with us to see Jane after work? The dirty robber does seem quiet without her and you there."

"I've done my visits, and I'll be heading home after work Detective Frost, I've got seminars to prepare for," Maura had smiled, "Thank you for asking," Maura had looked back to her laptop.

Frost had given a polite smile and headed back up to Korsak, and they had given Maura the benefit of all doubts, excused Maura for maybe distancing herself from the grief and thus reacting as so, but Maura had kept at it - visiting her on her own, quietly at lunch breaks, and telling Susie too positive updates whenever asked - and soon the hisses of Maura's indifference or any apparent lack of display of sadness, had led even Korsak and Frost to steer clear from Maura.

Maybe they had just felt helpless, or maybe they had felt like they needed to choose a side, and they chose hers.

Her brothers - Frankie and Tommy - were much worse.

They had come in the middle of the night, drunk and loud, banging on their door and accusing Maura of not loving their sister anymore.

It took her mother a full ten minutes to herd them out of the house, and her mother included a lashing of her own at Maura.

Her mother had yelled: "My daughter wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, because she thought she lost you, and yet when she could be dying any second, any day now, you go on back to work as if nothing happened to my Janie. You never visit her with us. You work and you work, and you take time out to visit your comatose wife. You take time out for her when she stayed by your bed when you were hurt. You could have died, and she blamed herself. My Janie wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep for you. I was wrong to think you loved her."

Maura had simply in her controlled manner, reply with words of her own then - "I'm not Frank Angela. I'm not your husband, I'm not their father. I'm Jane's wife, I'm your daughter's wife, and I'm not leaving her. I love her. I'm just used to being alone. I have an early day tomorrow, good night Angela, and goodnight to you gentlemen." Maura had said her piece and shut the door.

Her mother had started leaving bunny pancakes and checking up on Maura after that - doing her part as her mother to remind Maura of her, and respecting Maura as her wife by no longer doubting her.

Her mother had stayed over some nights, and she loved those nights - these are the nights she wants Maura to have, these are the nights she wants to thank her mother for; these are the nights when Maura slept, and Maura hardly cried.

Maura had not slept that night. She had spent the hours till morning, arranging her wardrobe - rearranging clothes and shoes, preparing outfits for future dates, and had a bottle of wine as company.

Maura had gone back to work when the alarm went off, all prim and proper; and she had simply followed behind Maura

She had spoken when she had to, and even when she did, nothing could possibly be heard.

She was Maura's only company for the week; Susie had been busy with researching - a task Maura hadn't need doing but made Susie do anyway.

* * *

><p><em>You promised she wouldn't be alone again.<em>

_You promised Maura that she wouldn't be alone again. _

She tells it to her own body - lying on a hospital bed, eyes shut - and unresponsive even to her.

She doesn't cry; but she knows that the flowing tears are hers.


	24. Chapter 23

She does nothing, but the monitors want to tell her otherwise - they start beeping relentlessly, and the doctors and nurses come running in.

It can get nauseating, watching people circle around you, and as a flurry of activity begins; but she keeps her eyes on the door, willing for Maura not to return, not to enter.

The people in the room scurry about, shouting out medical terms and words she sometimes recognizes and not.

Her blood pressure falls, and so does her brain activity, but her heart rate is still present, and slowly with some medication, her blood pressure rises again.

Maura doesn't enter; Maura's out getting water, and making calls.

She rests against the wall, smiling a small smile, because Maura isn't here - watching her being tossed over on her side, with needles inserted into her arm, surrounded by worried looking medical staff.


	25. Chapter 24

"Jane?"

She looks up.

The doctors and nurses have succeeded in keeping her alive again, and Maura had returned in time to watch them leave.

Doctor Slucky and the nurse from before stayed, and had another discussion with Maura; they retrieved the documents from the table and handed it again to Maura.

She watches as Maura's sunken figure walks back into her hospital room, and at how heavy the documents look.

Maura sets them carefully down at the table.

She doesn't need to know what Doctor Slucky had exactly said, she's been in hospitals too often to not have learnt to read monitors too by now; besides, she did hear what the doctors and nurses were yelling while saving her - her beautiful mind, going to waste, and hurting Maura again.

"Jane?"

She looks back up.

Maura is sitting by her body on the bed.

"Jane?"

She looks at Maura, looking at her but not at her - looking at her body and not at her.

_I'm here._

She looks at Maura.

"Jane?"

She wants to but she doesn't, she wants to give Maura the silent treatment because it wouldn't even make a difference, but she doesn't, she can't, she mustn't - it won't even make a difference - but she says the words again.

_Maura, I'm here._

"Jane?"

Maura's voice breaks.

"Jane."

Maura reaches for her hand - and she's hiding in her corner, pressed into the walls, watching; she lets her eyes go blurry.

"Jane, we can have pizza tonight. Pepperoni on both sides. Would you like that?" Maura asks. "Jane?"

She nods.

"Jane?" Maura's hand is gripping onto hers, "You haven't shown me my softball team uniform yet. You did say that I could join and, I do have the optimum batting stance, Jane," Maura smiles as her hand shakes.

She says nothing.

"Jane?" Maura kisses her hand, "I miss you," Maura kisses her hand, "I miss holding your hand, I miss holding you, I miss how you'll leave a British strawberry on Bass's shell, and I miss our walks with Jo and how you always tease Bass for being too slow so he can't come along," Maura kisses her hand, "Jane?" Maura's tears flow down her hand, "I miss you," Maura keeps her lips on her hand, "I miss you, I miss you Jane," Maura whimpers against her hand.

"Please wake," Maura's cheek is pressed into her hand, "Please wake Jane."

She wants to stand.

"I miss you smiling, I miss your smiles, and I miss you smiling back at me Jane," Maura holds her hand in both of hers, "I miss how you'll tease and be all snarky, knowing that I'll never leave. How I'll tease and make you eat healthy," Maura smiles - possibly at the memories she's also reliving.

"I miss letting you know that I'll never leave. Showing you that I'll always be here, proving that I'll be with you for as long as I can be Jane," Maura has her eyes closed and lips pressed into her palm, against her scar.

"I miss hearing your laugh, I miss you making us both laugh," Maura's lips quiver against her palm.

"Please wake Jane, please," Maura's hands are shaking, "I miss you answering me."

She knows that her hand would be hurting - her hand is in Maura's, being held, being squeezed, and Maura's hands are trembling.

"I miss you holding me close Jane," Maura smiles as tears flow from Maura's eyes, "You're right Jane, the duvet doesn't even come close to your long arms wrapped around me." Maura cradles her hand.

She hides behind her scarred hands.

"Please wake Jane," Maura pleads, "For me. Please."

She hides behind her scarred palms, and she listens to Maura's voice calling out her name. Over and over again, Maura calls. Over and over again, she doesn't answer. She doesn't want to be here. She doesn't want to be here.

Maura's crying is all she hears.


	26. Chapter 25

He had leered over her, with his menacing and lusty smile - Charles Hoyt - the man who punctured her hands, the man whom had given her scarred hands, the man whom…

She tries to shake away the memory.

He had driven a scalpel each into each of her palm, trapping her to the mattress - a moment Maura has since managed to vanquish and keep buried or hidden, by laying next to her and having her discuss fantasies with stems of alcohol by them. Different mattresses, different situations, but it doesn't change the fact that he had driven a scalpel each into her; but Maura makes a difference. Maura always makes a difference.

She lets the memory surface.

"A pity detective," he had whispered, "Helpless Jane Rizzoli can't protect the woman she loves," he had sneered as she felt his warm breath chill her nerves.

Maura had stirred then - he had left Maura unconscious next to her.

"The doctor's waking up," he had loomed over her, "Aren't you glad that she's here to join us Janie?" He had leaned towards Maura and smirked.

Maura had tried to move, but he had held Maura down; Maura's hands and feet were tied and bound.

She had tried to move, but the scalpels were effective, and she had started to feel dizzy; the pain was nothing compared to the fear arising in her.

"Jane?" Maura had softly called out her name, "Are you okay?" Maura's first sentence as she had regained consciousness.

She had replied with the slightest of nods and struggled to move.

"How sweet," he had teased as his fingers grazed her cheek.

"A pity that you can only watch Janie," he had moved to settle himself next to Maura, "And I hadn't had my apple today Doctor," he had pinned Maura down with his hands on Maura's shoulders.

Maura had shouted and Maura had struggled, and she had tried to dislodged her hands to no avail.

He had only laughed and sneered, as he positioned himself over Maura; and Maura had stopped to smile at her as Maura's eyes watered, mouthing the words: look away Jane.

And it had been Maura's smile that did it, it was Maura's courage that gave her bravery to do what she had next did - her baddest-ass antic - she had yank her hands right out from the mattress, with the scalpels hanging still through her hands, and she had pin Hoyt down with the bloody scalpels that once held her.

He had punctured her hands, and he had made her understand all that Maura had meant - Maura was her strength for everything, and when Maura smiled, she could do anything.

Charles Hoyt - the man whom was right even then.

She lets the memories go on no more.


	27. Chapter 26

The first thing she did that was remotely significant with her hands after the incident, was to make a cup of coffee for Maura with Maura's sophisticated coffee machine.

Her hands had hurt, but Maura's smile as Maura watched her steam the beans and worked the levers, was better than any amount of morphine - and Doctor Slucky had given her reign in morphine control, she might have even wore a groove into the button.

She had gotten her hands' dexterity back, she had regained the ability to clench and hold onto firearms again; she was badass detective Rizzoli again, and Maura was still just her best friend then.

When Maura had thanked her, when Maura had asked her why she had done as she had done, she had simply smiled and said that she protects the people she loves, and that Maura's coffee machine was no easy contraption to work with.

Maura had smiled and said nothing more as she had sipped at her coffee.

She didn't mind that her palms ached, or that there were scars to remind her of the horrors, she was just thankful to be able to have Maura smiling at her.

Maura makes any trauma lesser just by smiling and being her.

Maura was still just her best friend then, but Maura's awkward gestures and inappropriateness started to make sense to her - it was all a game of flirtation, and even though she felt less deserving then, Maura never stopped playing, Maura only ever kept courting, and waiting for her to be ready.

She was protective, and her hands like her, would always protect Maura, would always have Maura's back.

There was a time once, when all she knew was to be badass detective Rizzoli taking down crooks; there was a time next, when being a badass detective mattered less than spending time with, and protecting her best friend; and there was a time since, when all she wants to be was Maura's protective and loving wife.

Now she won't even wake, no matter how much Maura pleads.

_I'm sorry._

Her own tears fall; and Maura's tears trickle still, down from her fingers to her elbow - a journey on her hand that won't return Maura's hold.

_Maura, I'm sorry._

She hides behind her scarred hands - her once proof that she could protect Maura from anything.


	28. Chapter 27

"You're not giving up, are you vanilla?" Rondo appears next to her.

"Now you can do this too?" She half laughs, and welcomes a distraction - any distraction.

"You're not giving up are you vanilla?"

"My brain activity's dropping Rondo, and Maura's just there, crying. Maura's alone and crying," she wipes away stains of her own tears.

"Mrs vanilla loves you, and Mrs vanilla looks beautiful even when she's crying for you," Rondo has on a faint smile.

"Sorry about the carpark Rondo," she ghosts a smile, "And Maura's beautiful when she smiles too…" She looks at Maura's shoes.

"She's trying to be strong for you vanilla," Rondo pats her arm, "Like you told her to this morning, remember?"

She looks right at Rondo, "She heard me Rondo, she heard me, she felt me," she rests her head against the wall, and watches as Maura stands to enter the adjourning toilet in her hospital room, "I was singing all through the night, and she heard me," she can hear the tap running, "I got through to her, and then the hospital called," she looks to Rondo, "Why'd you stop singing Rondo?"

"I said," Rondo's voice is measured and cold, "Don't ask me that again."

"Why did you stop Rondo?" She asks without caring for consequences - Rondo could hurt her if he wanted, at least his punches would feel like pain; any distraction would really do. "Why did you stop singing?"

Rondo's fists are clenched, and her hands are relaxed.

Any distraction really; "You died, didn't you?" Like I would soon. Any distraction really. Maura's still in the bathroom.

"Or did she?" She looks at Rondo's clenched fists, "You stopped singing because she was no longer there to sing to, isn't it? Is that why you stopped singing Rondo?" Will I too soon? She doesn't add.

The only connecting happening, was the bathroom door to its frame as Maura starts again towards her body - Maura sits on the chair beside the hospital bed; and Rondo's looking ahead - there was no fist to nose, and no pain she hasn't already been feeling.

"She died." Rondo states. "I didn't." Rondo removes his knitted cap.

She keeps her eyes on Rondo; Maura's going through their daily muscle exercise.

"She was you, and I was Doctor Isles. The only difference was, I could see her, and she could see me." Rondo looks more solemn than she had ever seen him to be.

"I sang to her, every night, at the club I used to work at. She would be there, sitting at the table I had them reserve every night for her," Rondo smiles, "She would watch, she would listen, and she would know that I sang just for her," Rondo kneads at his cap, smile bright and growing, "Until her body started to fail." Rondo stops.

"You're not giving up are you vanilla?" Rondo smiles at her, "Because you still have brain activity to lose, and she didn't, she didn't," Rondo shows her her token, "I can give this to her now, to Doctor Isles, and she can see you. She can see you, be with you, like I was with her," Rondo holds up her token, "But your body will fail, as hers had failed. Your brain activity keeps dropping because you're here, you're here trying to reach out to her, and that's -" Rondo looks at her, "Watchers or drifters vanilla. You can't have both, but with this," Rondo hands her her token, "You can have none of that, and you can have her now," she can feel the grooves of her token in her hand.

She can feel the weight and its assurance on her palm, she can feel its little curves around the edges - the bottle cap from the first beers Maura and her had.

She can feel her token, and she can feel it reminding her that Maura's there, that Maura's there to protect, to love, to come home to - it stops her from tackling suspects like linebackers, it stops her from recklessly driving just to avoid traffic; it keeps her coming home to her.

"You're not giving up are you vanilla?" Rondo asks while looking ahead, "Are you giving up on her, now or later?"

She looks up at Maura, smiling at her body, reminiscing through memories with her body - smiling as if she was really there to kiss her good morning this morning, smiling as if she was really there pumping her fists into the air because the red sox had won a game, smiling as if she's happy.

"What's the catch Rondo? Did you have to choose?" She looks back to Rondo.

"She chose," Rondo starts kneading again at his cap, "She chose and I merely sang. I watched over her when no one else but I could see her and," Rondo's breathing into his cap, "She asked for her favourite song - for our song - and she made me promise to understand, that all life has an end. She chose," Rondo takes his face out of his cap, and his eyes are red, "She made me promise to let go, to understand, to say goodbye, to let her go," Rondo's fingers trailed along his cap, "She chose now," Rondo kneads faster at his cap, "Because she didn't have brain activity to lose, she didn't beli- she didn't - she didn't," Rondo grips onto his cap, "She didn't believe in a later for us to choose," Rondo grips onto his cap.

"But you do," Rondo smiles at her, "You have a now, or a later," Rondo pats her arm, "And she would do, and wouldn't do for you Jane," Rondo holds out his palm, "She's still watching over you."


	29. Chapter 28

"But what's the catch Rondo?" She knows by now good things don't come as they are - it took her and Maura years to get together, and look at how many dangers they had to endure and endured. "There is a catch isn't there?" She asks as she holds onto her token, keeping it close, "What happened to her?"

"Me." Rondo puts back on his knitted cap, and looks at her, "You get to be with her, as you are now. With the exception that she can hear you, see you," Rondo takes a breath, "But she can't feel you. She can touch you, like you can touch her, but she can't feel you," Rondo sighs, "Because now means, your body's still there, and you are here."

She looks right at Rondo, "You knew," she looks right at Rondo, "You knew how I could wake, you knew how I could be with her again. You knew that I would take your answers, that I would sing to her and try to get her to feel me. You knew how I could have told her any night for the past few weeks, that I was still here, that I still loved her, and she wouldn't have had to cry in the shower, into her pillow. You knew how I could wake, how I could be with her again, and you said nothing Rondo. You said nothing," she lets the words out as tears flowed, "And I didn't get it out of you," she holds onto her token, its edges cutting into her palm.

Rondo's hand rests on her shoulder, "I inform vanilla, I don't get to decide," Rondo calmly replies, "I knew how you could be with her again, but waking has always been up to you, up to your body and up to you," Rondo keeps his voice even, "Now or later vanilla, you can choose. Watcher, drifter - now, or later vanilla, it's all up to you."

She holds onto her token, onto her reminder, onto her ticket out of here.

She can choose now, and she can walk right over to where Maura is.

She can have Maura know that she's here, that she's always been right here, right now.

She can have Maura know.

"Now or later Jane?" Rondo looks at her token. "Now or later?" Rondo offers again his open palm.

She looks at her token - the key, the answer, to having Maura know everything she needs Maura to know.

To have Maura know that she's never leaving, that's she's here, that she loves her, and that she's sorry.

To have Maura know that she's never leaving, that she's here, until her body fails.

I'm here Jane, I've got your back, till I can no longer do. That was a line from Maura's vows to her.

Maura understood what Rondo had to promise, Maura accepted what she feared - that one day, she would have to lose Maura; that one day, Maura would be taken from her; that nobody can promise forever, and optimistic people live longer.

She looks to Maura, at Maura now studying the monitors and the documents.

"Rondo?" She holds onto the token, and remembers how it feels in her hand. She holds onto the token, and remembers how her phantom fingers hold onto Maura's and nothing, nothing ever happens. She admits to herself how Maura's escaped curl remained untucked because she can't tuck curls; she can touch curls, but she can't tuck or communicate with Maura's world. She knows now that it's more painful to watch Maura cry, to have Maura cry - but they will stop once hers can be absorbed.

She holds onto her token and she knows what it means, she knows that now would mean everything she wants to happen; and later would mean everything that Maura also needs - a warm body beside hers.

She looks at Maura, looking at her body.

She looks at Maura's pen hovering over the documents.

* * *

><p>"My mother lost my father Jane, and my mother needed him and not me," Maura had mentioned, "It was benign neglect," Maura had licked at her lip, "She loved me and I too her, but neither of us gave or asked," Maura had taken a deep breath, "My mother loves me, but my mother needed my father, not me," Maura had pick up the pen, "My mother has the chance to leave this world, peacefully and knowing that her daughter loves her," Maura had told her as Maura's pen hovered over the papers, "My mother would stop drifting in and out of consciousness Jane, my mother would be brain dead soon, would be medically dead but her heart would still be beating, she would still be alive," her pen had touched the surface of the paper, "But if I sign this, my mother would be gone forever and -"<p>

"And you'll have to get used to being alone, except that you wouldn't," she had held onto Maura as the pen had rolled over the table, "I'm here. Maura, I'm here."

"I know," Maura had stayed in her arms, "I know Jane. You're my best friend."

"And your mother knows that I love you too Maura," she had of all days said it that day, "You'll always have me, I'm here," she had promised, and Maura's signature had formed across the papers.

Constance had passed away knowing that Maura's last words to her were of love and acknowledgement, of their bond as mother and daughter; and her last words to Constance were that she would take care of her daughter, of Maura, because she loved her.

Constance had gone away peacefully, and Maura had eventually said yes to ice cream with her. Maura had stopped wanting to choose loneliness over fear; and she was ready to acknowledge Maura's importance to her.

* * *

><p>She looks at Maura's pen still hanging over the documents, and she looks at her own body laying motionlessly and yet serene on the bed next to the table.<p>

She hands Rondo her token.

"I choose later Rondo," she lets go of her token, "Because I'm better than any comforter," she watches as Maura sets the pen down and leaves the unsigned documents on the table.

Maura settles herself next to her body, and starts reading to her like they used to do.

"I'll wake for her," she smiles, "Because when Maura smiles, I can do anything," she smiles as Maura smiles too, "Optimistic people live longer, even when people don't live forever," she rests her hand on Rondo's shoulder.

"I'll wake for her," she repeats, "Because I'm a medical miracle, and she's my medical examiner," she grins as she stands to go to Maura.

She hears Rondo laugh behind her.


	30. Chapter 29

Maura falls asleep while reading from the journals, while reading to her.

* * *

><p>Maura had been reading about cell stem regeneration, and had jokingly mentioned how skin grafts can be made from laboratories now and, if she would feel better if Maura had smooth skin on her calf again, Maura could find a surgeon to burn off Maura's scar tissues and grow Maura new skin cells, a smoother skin for Maura's calf.<p>

"Would you like that Jane?" Maura had asked.

_No Maura, I love you just as you are._ She had answered.

"It'll help you sleep better maybe?" Maura had asked as Maura's arms wrapped around her body - the journal by now left on the table.

"It'll help all things work better," Maura had coyly smiled before burying her face against her shoulder.

She had watch as her hospital gown grown wet at the shoulder area.

* * *

><p><em>I'll wake for you Maura. <em>

Her phantom lips kiss Maura's temple.


	31. Chapter 30

Rondo helps her pull a blanket over both Maura and her body.

She steps away from Maura and her body.

"And Rondo? Can you?"

"You only gave me forty vanilla," Rondo grins, "But consider it done."

"Thanks Rondo," she sends a smile.

She sits by the hospital bed and waits for Rondo to return.

She doesn't watch as Maura sleeps, she simply listens to the slightest monitor beep accompanying Maura's breathing.


	32. Chapter 31

"Mrs Vanilla?"

Rondo's head is peeking into the hospital room.

Maura's awake - and she had spent the past few minutes watching as Maura changed her out of her hospital gown; all evidence of tears now too gone.

"Rondo?" Maura greets Rondo with a smile, "Come in, Jane tells me often how invaluable your help is to her."

"I heard about vanilla and, I brought you coffee," Rondo smiles, "With extra whipped cream," Rondo directs her a wink as he hands Maura a cup of coffee.

She smiles and says nothing.

"You didn't have to Rondo," Maura accepts the coffee, "But thank you," Maura smiles and sets it on the table.

She misses the aroma of coffee, and she misses the caffeine.

"Is vanilla going to be okay?"

"Her vitals have stabilized and, she's an excellent detective, she'll be okay," Maura sits herself down on her bed and offers Rondo the chair, "She'll be okay," Maura smiles and reaches to hold onto her hand; she's standing next to Maura, and Rondo quietly sits.

"The word I heard was that vanilla went all superhero and pushed the beautiful doctor out of harm's way," Rondo smiles, "Very vanilla," Rondo teases, "Saving her wife," Rondo relaxes into the chair and the grin he has on is directed at her.

She returns the smile, but mildly shakes her head.

Maura smiles, "Jane's reaction time was indeed remarkable and," Maura's smile falls a little away, "She's protective like that," Maura's other hand slips into Maura's pocket, "She saves me everyday Rondo, Jane saves me everyday," Maura directs her attention back to her body.

Rondo shrugs his shoulders at her.

She points at the cup of coffee.

"Vanilla says you like coffee," Rondo starts and she encourages, "And I thought you would need it Mrs vanilla," Rondo reaches for the coffee cup on the table, "Vanilla needs coffee but, she wouldn't stop talking just because she lost her cup of coffee," Rondo hands Maura the cup, "Vanilla only ever goes superhero for you," Rondo smiles, and she smiles too.

Maura's looking at Rondo, and her hands are wrapped around the cup of coffee, "Is this…" Maura's taking in the scent of the coffee.

"I saw it in your cupboard, the last time you had me and the rejects over for monopoly," Rondo weakly lies, "I saw the beans and - "

"The coffee machine…" Maura interrupts, "Thank you Rondo," Maura's cradling the cup of coffee, "Thank you for the coffee," Maura's smiling, really smiling, "Thank you for, the coffee," Maura's smiling as she sips at the coffee.

Just like that first cup Maura. She thinks but she doesn't say. She's watching, she's just watching. She's just watching Maura sip at the cup of coffee just like that day; Maura's smiling.


	33. Chapter 32

At some point, Rondo took his leave.

Maura had settled quietly on the chair with the cup of coffee to her lips, drinking it while watching over her body.

She had sent her thanks to Rondo, and made a mental note to track him down when she wakes - she owes him, no matter what sort of C.I. he is.

Maura had as she had hoped, understood what the coffee gesture meant.

"Italian Roast," Maura had whispered as she savoured the coffee, "You made a cup of it just for me," Maura had given her hand a kiss, "With your medical miracle of hands and my complicated machine," Maura had smiled, "Italian Roast," Maura had pressed her lips to her scar, "Vanilla only ever goes superhero for me," Maura had blushed.

She had nodded along as Maura unraveled the gesture. The coffee was her, and Rondo was kind enough to help her pass along a message to Maura, a sign to assure Maura that she's here, that she'll awake, that when Maura smiles, she can do anything.

She looks to the door as the nurse from before enters.

"Have you decided Doctor Isles?"

"I have, thank you," Maura stands, "Jane's going to improve, and her brain activity hasn't decreased in the past three hours. Jane will wake," Maura reports as she hands the nurse unsigned documents.

"Jane will wake," Maura repeats as the nurse verifies the documents and asks for a final decision, "Jane will wake," Maura replies and walks right back to her body, and the nurse starts to leave.

"You will wake Jane," Maura presses her smile to her temple, "You will awake."

"Mrs Rizzoli-Isles?" The nurse calls from the hospital room door, documents in hand, and Maura turns, caught in a momentary daze from having not known the nurse still remained, "Detective Rizzoli will wake Mrs Rizzoli-Isles, she will awake," the nurse sends a smile and takes her leave.

"I know," Maura kisses again, her hand that Maura holds close, "Tomorrow is here, today is better."

She stays by Maura who stays by her bed and doesn't leave.


	34. Chapter 33

She knows that it's late, that it's soon time for Maura to have to leave.

Maura stands and heads to the bathroom with the face towels and basin.

She gently prods at her side. Well, she tries.

"I know you're tired Jane," Maura says to her as Maura wipes a face towel across her face.

She looks at her nose that Maura popped back into place; Maura takes such good care of her.

"You're just tired, and you ought to be," Maura cleans her hands, "You haven't had coffee since," Maura smiles.

She smiles too, she smiles too. Maura's joking again. That's good.

"I just want you to rest Jane, just rest, and let your body heal okay?" Maura's thumb is gracing the ridge of her brow, "Like making coffee Jane, like making coffee," Maura has the empty cup of coffee on the table by her hospital bed, "Patience and time. You'll awake, and you just have to rest Jane. Just rest and take all the time you need, to heal, to work through what you need to. Like before," Maura's hand runs through her hair, "We have to try, we're trying, and I'm waiting, like before," Maura's thumb brushes past the back of her hand, "You'll heal, and there'll always be scars, but you'll heal, you'll wake," Maura kisses her scars, "I just want you to rest Jane, just rest, I didn't sign the papers, I'm still here, I'm here," Maura smiles into her hand, "I can't spell love without you too Jane," Maura kisses her hand.

She sits herself down beside Maura, and rests her head against Maura's knee. She watches as Maura's finger trail around her palm.

"Jane?"

She watches as Maura's finger trace out five letters.

"You're Italian," Maura smiles and reaches into her pocket, "I kept it, the bottle cap from the beers we first had. I took yours," Maura places Maura's token in her hand, "To remind myself to be brave, to be strong, to stop being afraid, to love, to stay, to love you," Maura closes her hand with Maura's token still in it, "I'm here Jane, I've got your back," Maura kisses her closed hand.

She holds onto the memory she created with her own token in her hand, and she holds onto the feeling of what her token means and meant - Maura's her absolute, Maura's home to come home to.

"I'm here Jane," Maura holds onto her hand around Maura's token, "He didn't win, you didn't lose. You didn't lose me."

She watches as Maura's finger skate across the surface of her arm, and she can almost feel the tingles. She listens as Maura starts to sing, to sing the song from their game of word spelling on the canvas that is their skins.

She rests her head against Maura's knee, she holds onto the feeling of having her token, of having Maura's token in her hand, and she can't, but she does, she wants to fall asleep to the sound of Maura's singing, to the sound of Maura's breathing; she's tired, so she should rest, just like Maura says she should.

She can almost feel the softness of Maura's lips to her temple, as Maura promises.

"I'll be watching over you still."


	35. Chapter 34

There is an incessant beeping - she doesn't hear Maura's breathing.

She opens her eyes and the ceiling is bare.

The room is dark, and she blinks.

She feels it - the grooves and edges, of the bottle cap in her hand; Maura's token.

The room is dark, the ceiling is bare; there are no stars, she's not here, she's not by her.

She sits upright to reach for the button to call for the nurses; and she holds only tighter onto Maura's token.

She takes in a breath, and she lets it out - she can hear her own breathing.


	36. Chapter 35

There's a note by her table, along with forty dollars, and her own token.

Maura's token has 'Jane' inscribed onto it, and hers had 'Maura' etched into it.

She holds both tokens close to her, and she reads the note she knows that Rondo had left for her - this is the right moment.

'Believe, that love has a later;  
>but always love now.<br>Love her, Jane;  
>As she would, and wouldn't do for you.<br>Cab's on me, coffee's on you - those were damn fine beans vanilla.'

She picks up the coat that Maura had brought over for her that day - just yesterday.


	37. Chapter 36

She climbs slowly onto the bed. It shifts under her weight. She smiles despite the simplicity of a sunken mattress.

Softly she calls out Maura's name as her arms wrap around Maura.

She takes special care to hold Maura close without jostling Maura too much; she wants to wake her, not to scare the wits out of her.

"Maura?" She softly calls.

She breathes in the scent of Maura's hair, she savours the warmth of Maura's back pressed against her, and she softly speaks again Maura's name.

She smiles against Maura's back, and presses a kiss to Maura's shoulder - Maura's wearing her t-shirt again.

"Maura?" She calls again as she brings Maura closer to her.

"Maura?" She misses the sound of her name.

She can see them, together again. Maura in her arms and this time she knows that Maura's okay, that she isn't dreaming, and that Maura's here. Maura's alright and she's awake. She wraps her arms tighter around Maura and she kisses again Maura's back.

She can feel both the warmth and hear the exhale that escapes out of Maura as she holds Maura close to her.

She shuts her eyes, and considers if maybe, she can just rest tonight and awake next to Maura, together with Maura; she still wants Maura to sleep, she wants Maura rested.

"Goodnight Maura," she whispers, "I'll see you in the morning," she promises as she leans against Maura. She can feel the warmth of Maura against her. She can hear Maura's breathing; and she's holding Maura close to her - feeling her warmth and closeness, her being right here.

She chances a quick peek, at the ceiling filled with stars.

"Thank you," again she whispers, "Thank you for watching over me," she kisses Maura's shoulder as she takes in a deep and heavy breath - relishing in Maura's scent.

Maura stirs then, and Maura turns in her arms.

She watches and she waits.

She watches and she waits - breath held and smiling despite the wild beating in her chest.

Maura's going to see her, and Maura's going to see her.

She smiles and she waits, for her wife to wake up and see her too awake, and right here.

"Maura?" She says again the name she misses, and the one word she had repeated over and over on the cab ride over. She would never tire of saying Maura's beautiful name. She smiles. She would never tire of saying Maura Dorothea Isles.

Maura's eyelids flutter back and she knows that this is the moment - the moment when Maura knows that she's with her, that Jane Rizzoli's in front of her, that Jane Clementine Rizzoli is with her.

She smiles wider at the smile that greets her.

"Jane?" Maura calls, and she tears - because this time, her answer can be heard.

"Yes Maura," she smiles and her hands are firm and warm on Maura's back, "I'm here."


	38. Chapter 37

Maura stands, and Maura guides her to her feet too.

The lights come on, and Maura takes in her form.

"Jane," Maura wraps her in her arms, "You're here," Maura holds her closer to her, "You're really here."

"I am Maura, and I'm so-"

"I forgive you Jane, for having felt like you needed to not talk to me, to distance yourself away from me, just so you won't lose yourself if you ever lost me. I forgive you Jane, for fearing that you'll lose me. I forgive you Jane, for taking the time out so that your body can rest and I missed you every single day for the past eight months, two weeks, and five days. I missed you," Maura buries her face against her shoulder, "I missed you Jane," Maura looks back at her, "And I forgive you even though I never blamed you, because I understand that this is a part of you. For better or for worse Jane, I've got your back till I can no longer do, and I forgive you, because I know you need to know that I do," Maura kisses her temple, "You're here Jane, you're here," Maura kisses her temple, "And that's all that matters," Maura holds her close to her, "That you're here."

She stays in Maura's arms.

The coat she has on is stifling and heavy; it wasn't just yesterday.

"I'm..." she doesn't know what to say.

"You're here," Maura reminds her as Maura helps her out of the coat.

"Eight months, two weeks, and five days, Maura," she repeats, "I'm -"

"You're here," Maura kisses away her tears.

She stays comforted in Maura's arms.

"That's a very long speech Maura," she mumbles into Maura's ear.

"I had a long time to practice," Maura smiles, "I had a long time to practice," Maura sighs against her ear, and she can feel warm droplets trickle into her shirt.

Her hand draws small circles on the small of Maura's back, and she stays in Maura's embrace.

She holds Maura close to her, as Maura's tears soak her shirt.

She needs to, but she doesn't. She doesn't tell Maura that she's sorry. She just holds Maura close to her, as Maura's tears soak through her shirt.

She's Maura's comforter, Maura's shoulder to cry and lean on.

Maura has her, like she has Maura.

She holds Maura close to her.

Maura's body is shaking in her arms with each whimper, and her own tears leave tear stains on Maura's shoulder.

She's here; she's awake, for Maura.


	39. Chapter 38

Maura climbs back into bed. It shifts beneath her.

She climbs into bed after Maura. It shifts too beneath her.

Maura's smiling at her smile back at her.

It's warm under the covers, under the duvet, under the comforter - their arms are around each other.

It's warm, and it's dark, apart from the soothing glow of the ceiling stars - their ceiling fixtures, their nightlights - she's safe, she's here; Maura's here.

She's breathing against Maura's neck, and feeling Maura's pulse against her temple.

Maura's running her fingers through her curls, and telling her that she can't spell love without her - her finger traces the familiar navel.

There are no tears, there are no honks or beeping, there is only them, there is only her; and Bass and Jo bumping around in the kitchen, attacking kitchen counters.

Maura kisses her temple, and she kisses Maura's shoulder.

Maura's not wearing her t-shirt, their tokens are on the nightstand beside their framed picture - it's their matching smiles, over a bowl of ice cream together - and the night has only the sound of their synchronized breathing.

Maura has her warm body beside her.


	40. Chapter 39

"Good morning Jane," Maura's smile is kissing hers; Maura's awake before her - she'll try again tomorrow, waking Maura up with kisses.

"I'm doing the dishes," she feigns a groan into Maura's shoulder and Maura laughs in return, "And we're using your complicated contraption," she kisses Maura's forehead as her finger tucks a lock of Maura's fallen curl - there, no tickles.

"You need a shower," Maura pulls her out of bed, "No more face towels," Maura guides her into the bathroom, "We both need a shower, your mother's coming with breakfast," Maura smiles as the showerhead soaks them both with water.

"And we'll go back to the ice cream place after," she watches as Maura looks at her, "We have to tip the waitress."

"Italian roast," Maura mumbles against her shower sodden shirt, "You have much explaining to do at yoga tomorrow," Maura kisses her hand that holds hers, "I love you."

She lets the shower spray cleanse them both.

Maura's not crying and she's here.

The sound of running water is all she hears.

She needs to let Maura know that she's sorry, that she loves her still.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to wake Maura," she kisses the top of Maura's head, "I'm sorry that day, that night, that time happened and we had to go to dinner, I'm sorry that I wasn't faster, I wasn't stronger. I'm sorry..." she has words she wants to add, but she can't form the words with her breathing so erratically. She buries her face in Maura's hair. "I'm sorry Maura, I'm sorry," she thinks the shower will mask her tears.

"Jane?"

Maura softly calls as Maura gently lifts her head.

"Yes Maura?"

"You save me Jane, you save me everyday," Maura kisses the scars of her hands, "And you only did what he asked you to do. I was unconscious, my limb was turning blue, and you sought out his medical opinion based on the fact that he was a medical student. He-"

"I let him take you. I let him take you again. You could have died and- the trees, the stars, I let him take you, take us and, the car. I -" she hides her face in her scarred hands and tries to breathe, "I would never leave you Maura, but I could have lost you, I could have lost you," she tries to fight back memories of the nights, of all the nights, of Maura crying, in and not in her arms; she hides behind her scarred hands, the only proof, the only one time she managed to protect Maura right, "I let him take you."

"Jane," Maura has her hands along the side of her face after stopping the shower sprays, "My scar and your scars, that day, that night, that time, doesn't make you any less badass," Maura looks right at her, "Charles Hoyt, is not going to be the man you lose me to. No one's going to have me but you," Maura rests her forehead against hers, "We're okay, you're here, we're here," Maura kisses her temple, "And that's all that matters to me. All that matters to me is that you, my wife, Jane Rizzoli, is safe and happy with me, by me."

She watches as Maura traces the outlines of five letters on the glass panel.

"When you smile Jane, I can do anything too."

She feels the warmth of Maura's hand on her chest, and she says what Maura's telling her, "All eight hundred and twenty-five of them know that you were never alone," she can feel Maura's beating heart against Maura's chest, "Because I am here for you too."

"You are," Maura kisses her, "Vanilla only ever goes superhero for me," Maura kisses the top of her head, " I love you, Jane," Maura kisses her scars, kisses her hands, kisses her temple, and kisses her again, "I love you Jane."

"I love you too," she holds Maura close to her, "I love you too Maura," she holds Maura close to her.

Maura's smile meets hers.


	41. Chapter 40

The night air is a little chilly.

Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles exit the ice cream place, hand in hand and with each other's token in their respective pockets, laughing and feeling warm despite the relative cold in their bellies.

"Korsak's going to laugh at me now Maura, I'm as chubby as he is," Jane pouts as she puts on the knitted cap Maura hands her - Jane doesn't need to feel or be badass anymore; she's just Jane, she's just Maura's Jane again.

"You wanted to have all the ice cream flavours in one day Jane," Maura kisses Jane's hand that holds tightly onto her, "You even had the waitress serve us only the hottest waffles."

"She's still there, and you gave her a great tip," Jane grins and swings their held hands a little.

"I did," Maura wraps her arm around Jane's, "I told her to always give butt compliments to the person she loves," Maura hides her blush by burying her face in Jane's shoulder.

Jane's holding a giggling Maura in her arms; they might have had too much of the Irish whiskey swirled with Italian coffee flavoured ice cream - it's their favourite now.

"Lydia," Jane says, "That's the waitress's name," Jane frames Maura's face in her hands, "You gave a great tip to Lydia the waitress my callipygian wife," Jane leans in for a kiss, "Maura Isles," Jane kisses the knitted cap atop Maura's head, "We are taking a cab home right on this street tonight."

Maura looks at Jane, with a goofy grin plastered across her face.

"You had Rondo call ahead didn't you?"

"He's my C.I." Jane holds onto Maura tight, "He's my Cab...Cab...informant."

"You're drunk Jane," Maura laughs as she keeps Jane up.

"I'm not, I'm just happy Maura," Jane kisses Maura's dimple, "I'm just happy, with you," Jane kisses Maura's temple, "And you paid for his wife's hospital stay," Jane rests her head against Maura's, "You paid for his wife's hospital stay, even though you know she won't -" Jane sighs, "Can he?"

"He's always going to be welcomed at our place, for monopoly, for red sox games," Maura twirls her finger around Jane's hair, "He helped you bring me coffee."

"With whipped cream," Jane winks.

"I did pay for the damn fine beans he used," Maura teases.

"I'm a homicide detective now Doctor Isles, I'm no longer working vice," Jane flashes her badge, "But I'm always yours," Jane holds Maura close, "I'm always yours to hold Maura."

"You're my reality Jane, you're the love of my life," Maura leans into Jane, "Things can change, but not ever this," Maura tips on her toes and kisses Jane's nose, "I'm here Jane, I love you Jane."

"You fixed that, my nose, and you fix everything, every memory," Jane kisses Maura's smile, "And you have amazing hair Maura," Jane remembers how smitten she was by Maura's hair as she runs her hands through wavy locks, "You're beautiful Maura," Jane presses her lips to the side of Maura's head, "Thank you, I love you Maura," Jane promises with a kiss.

A honk's directed at them both, and a headlight's shining straight at them - Rondo's behind the wheel, grinning and waving, with his knitted cap on.

"Rondo's the new Susie," Jane grumbles as they head towards the cab.

"Susie thinks I'm her hero, and she defends what we have Jane," Maura casually points out, "But you're my hero Jane," Maura kisses quick Jane's blush as Rondo teases with a classic vanilla call.

The night air is a little chilly - but they're safe now inside Rondo's cab, warm, together, and loved.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Hi there, thank you, for the time~  
>If you're reading this, thank you, for sticking with this story till the end. Hmm. This whole story started out, because I wanted to give the user <span>thepriceismeg<span> a ghost story ( I think it was related to the halloween fanfic...how exactly, I've forgotten, anyway...) which led to my mind going: Oh! Let's make Jane a ghost, and chapter 2 to 12 happened, albeit it being simply 4 and less split chapters back then. This was supposed to be something quick, but, it spanned into this - hahaha. 40 chapters, I'm ridiculous. So, not quite the ghost story, or, any longer bearing resemblance to its beginning days...still, thank you, for bearing through with this story; and I hope, not an entirely too awful story. Slight note to self: always plan - even if you don't like to plan, still plan; even a slight plan's better than no plan. More importantly, stick to the plan. Hahaha. As you can tell, this story has reflected my erratic and fidgety self - the messages and themes (if any) are all scrambled and probably lost...hmm. Oh and, somehow, I've referenced my first fanfic titled 'Things Can Change' so, there's that - in case you're wondering. Also, in my mind, Lydia totally sees it - the rizzles - so, yes, Lydia the waitress. Thank you, for the time, for the story, and for reading my rambling author's note. Thank you=)


	42. Chapter 41

**A/N**: Hi there! To note: you are not obliged to read anything I write; and if it's fanfiction you're after - there's hundreds out there - so, you really don't need mine. If you want to read this, or read anything, feel free to - and I really do appreciate constructive feedback (I know I need it); but if it's anything else, save it for yourself. Please - and thank you =)

Oh - I know that this story's meant to be complete but, I just felt like, maybe the story should have a different end to it...

* * *

><p>Years have since passed -<p>

And birdsong still fills a now vacant room.

A bedroom once filled,  
>With a canopy of faithful night watchers;<br>A ceiling plastered with glow-in-the-dark stars.

They lay littered now,

All over a bed spread and an immobile pair -  
>Whom moments ago,<br>Had just uttered their very last hopes.


	43. Chapter 42

She wraps her arms around Maura, and smiles at the warmness of Maura's fingers around hers.

She never takes for granted - how real, and how precious, touching and being touched by Maura, can feel.

"When I see you smile Jane, when I see you smile," Maura turns herself around to face her now, "I can do anything," Maura's eyes are light, and she knows her own are just as bright.

"I know Maura, I know," she kisses Maura's smile, "And I'll be watching over you still," she kisses Maura's forehead, "No matter what you do, no matter where you go," she kisses Maura's hands - the ones holding on and have been holding on, so steadily on, to hers, regardless of what life has thrown them.

"You're tired now though, Maura, you're tired now," she runs her hand through Maura's beautiful hair; strands she once for so long, could only imagine caressing; strands she now _knows_, are dead keratin, but a part of Maura still - and Maura, she will always caress, always cherish.

"Rest, sleep, I'll be here," she smiles back into eyes glistening too, with bright bright joyfully lit tears.

"I'll be here still, watching over you," she kisses their rings symbolizing union, and she kisses Maura's dimple, ever enchanting to her.

"I love you Jane, I love you," Maura rests her ear to her chest, to the heart beating beneath her sternum - the steady rhythm Maura kept alive and brought back, with her patience and her love.

"I _love_ you Jane Clementine Rizzoli," Maura looks at her with a cheeky glint, "My Clementine, my Italian Roast, my Vanilla," Maura kisses her lips.

"Thank you Jane, thank you for everything," Maura pulls her closer as Maura rests her face in the space at the area of her neck region, "Thank you Jane, for waking and growing old together with me," Maura kisses the spot now adorned with many kisses from before - all marking where her heart, beats steadily underneath.

"I love you too Maura, I love you too," she kisses the top of Maura's head, and takes in the comforting tickles of Maura's warm exhalation onto her skin.

"Now rest, now sleep, I'll be here - I am here - growing old together, with you; my Maura, my home," she feels the tightening of Maura's fingers around hers, and she returns the gesture with her thumb encircling Maura's epidermis - another word of Maura's vocabulary she will miss.

"When I see you smile Jane, when I see you smile," Maura faintly whispers as she feels Maura's arms tighten one last time around her, "It's progress…"

Maura kisses again, the spot on her chest.


	44. Chapter 43

"All eight hundred and twenty-five of them know,"

she begins tracing letters on the back of Maura's hand,

"And so do you,"

she listens to the steady inhale and exhale of Maura's breathing,

"That I love you, and that you were never alone,"

she traces 'I love you',

she traces 'Maura, I do'.


	45. Chapter 44

She listens to the chirps outside the bedroom window, and sends heartfelt thanks to each guardian on their ceiling - keeping them together, keeping them safe.

She listens again and always, for and to Maura's breathing; and she smiles at the warm tickles of Maura's breath touching her skin.

She listens to Maura's breathing -

All while tracing, 'Maura I love you; Maura I'm here; Maura, I'm home' -

Until the absence of it.

With a final smile, and a gentle kiss to the now serene Maura in her arms,

She too - shuts her eyes, and sleeps.


	46. Chapter 45

And the stars, they fall -

To cover and envelope,  
>What's left of Maura and Jane;<p>

Holding onto each other,  
>Under the same comforting duvet.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Hi there, thank you for the time!

Not sure how many of you (if any of you) are going to get here, and how many would be pleased; but it's thrilling - writing out scenes for self-actualizing. So pardon me, for using the characters as I seem to be doing. Hmm. This fanfic though...hmm =)


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